10 Tips For Those Attending MANA

Since I am not going to be able to make it to MANA here is some advice for all of those who will be attending.

  1. Sisters, that brother from Philly is not really interested in taking you to Bilalian Gardens to teach you the finer points of the Sunnah or to correct your aqeedah.
  2. Brothers, if that sister from Germantown lifts up her niqaab, looks at you and says “brother, all I need you to do is come see me once a week and I’m straight” she is not under the false impression that you are an auto mechanic.
  3. Brothers, when lowering your gaze as the Brooklyn sisters walk by lower your gaze all the way, TO The FLOOR, do not let your eyeballs stop at any point in between her head and the ground when viewing from the back.
  4. The brother offering you a “business opportunity” is really trying to crawl from under the debt he incurred investing in a pyramid scheme.
  5. If you see some brothers talking like they are still Black Nationalists from the 70’s ( but may not even be black); don’t worry you have not went back in time, that is just some of the Midwestern delegation talking who are a little behind the times.
  6. Ten packs of incense bought in the bazaar does not suffice for a dowry. Nor does teaching a sister your jacked-up tajweed version of any number of short surahs.
  7. A retreat to Camden, NJ is not a romantic post-MANA honeymoon.
  8. Marrying a sister you met at a lecture by Imam Siraj on the Sunnah when you already have two wives and no job does not qualify as “reviving the Sunnah”.
  9. Sisters, marrying the brother you met at the “prisoner reintegration” session and letting him come in your house and live rent free, beat your kids, and eat all of your groceries, is not doing your part to help out with the effort.
  10. Also, FYI, if you have to fly back, or for that matter even get on the train or bus, I would advice you not to rock one of those ” Jihaad is My Way” t-shirts they were selling last year in the bazaar.

9 thoughts on “10 Tips For Those Attending MANA

  1. LOL.

    Incense as a dowry= a marriage that is bound to go up in smoke.

    Great list. I am sure it is appliable to any Muslim convention, not just MANA.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s