This post got me to thinking about what the Islamic lands are expected to look like from a convert’s perspective
What would the Islaamic Republic of Utopia look like? Hmmmm…..
What follows is Aboo Mumtaz al-Amreekee’s story of his travel to the Islaamic Republic of Utopia:
I must say that the plane ride on Utopian Airlines was the best I’d ever had. All the seats were nice and large like love seats, the meals were excellent and there was a musullah inside the plane. Even the pilot was upon the daawaah
The lines in the ranks were straight, so tight a child could not get through them while playing, and the Imaam had perfect taajweed and led the congregation without any biddaah. And best of all, the trip was free.
When I landed in the Islaamic Republic of Utopia I saw the most magnificent airport I’d ever seen in my life. It was so very clean it sparkled. The air smelled of fresh incense. Maashaa’ Allaah everyone in the airport was giving the salaam, all the women were properly covered and none made eye contact with me and all the men were wearing pristine white thobes (well above their ankles to remove any doubt) and had beards.
All of the brothers started to stuff cash into my pockets and offer their daughters to me in marriage and – like good Muslims – did not ask about my financial status or education. So far, it was everything the brothers had always told me it’d be!
When I got to the cab stand, I found that all cab rides in the town are free too. Now this was truly an Islaamic country! The cab driver – who was a scholar in his own right – gave me a nice Islaamic lecture on the way to the hotel on the importance of hijrah. The streets were so clean that one could eat on it. The buildings were the most modern that I’d ever seen too. All the drivers were obeying the traffic signals. Everyone walking the streets were smiling and carrying Islaamic books in their hands. It was a beautiful sight. I asked the cab driver what percentage of the people had memorized the Qur’aan in Utopia.
“Everyone!” he responded. “Children here memorize the Qur’aan by the time they were 4”, he said
“How many scholars are here?” I asked.
“Everyone is a scholar here by the time they are 12,” he told me. “The schools here make sure that all the kids memorize all the books of hadith along with the chains of narration and several dozen books of fiqh and the aqaaid as well”
“Wow!”, I exclaimed
I gave the cab driver the salaam and thanked him for the ride. He gave me some money before riding way. I noticed that the car he was driving gave off no emissions and was a “Utopia-mobile”. They produced their own cars too!
When I arrived at the hotel, I found that all the rooms are not only free of charge and of the best quality, but there is a free bucket of money in every room!
These were not just hotel rooms. They were spectacular 2,000 SF suites with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a kitchen, living room, dining room and balcony. There were two phones in the each room; one phone was a line calling anywhere in the world for free and the other was for inside the hotel. I dialed that number and found the hotel had a entire list of services it provided for free: free kabobs, shawarmas, chicken dinners, whole lambs and more. A free tour guide could assist me in my stay in Utopia and a free security guard was on-call for me in case there were any kafir illegals roaming around or bad jinn.
I went to the bedroom and opened the closet door to put my clothes away and was startled. Inside the closet there was a young girl of about 16 with smooth brown skin, eyes as dark as coal that shined, and long dark curl hair. She wasn’t wearing much of anything and the clothes revealed a young and firm body. On her tank-top there was a name tag that read: “Hadasha: Jewish Girl, 15, Captured from the Place Once Known as Israel” and beneath the sign there was some small lettering that said “if this model is not satisfactory Filipina, African, Spanish, Ashkanezi Jews, Serb, Croatian, Russian, Hindu, Ethiopian and Persian girls also available (If Mujahudeen are successful, Latinas coming next)”.
“Wow!” I thought. A free right hand possession with the room! And a quite nice one at that. The brothers went all out to make a brother feel at home.
I have always wanted my own right hand possession and here was one right here in the closet! I remember back home asking this Puerto Rican girl in Camden to be my right hand possession, but the stupid kaafir bint refused uttering such ajeeb absurdities such as that she needed a man with a job when all the while my mother – being the kind hearted kaafir that she is – was willing to offer her basement to us.
Maashaa’ Allaah, I thought about how I used to wish that I could have one of these girls and now I had one, while I undressed my young Jewish right-hand possession and commenced to extol my virtues to her with the daawaah-stick.
After I was finished she quickly got up, took a shower, and asked me what I liked to eat because she wanted to cook for me. I told her that this was really something that was khair.
While waiting on Hadasha to make my meal, I took a leisurely stroll around the area of the hotel. The street was lined with shops selling thobes and head-wear for men, clothing for women which their servants would pick-up (I assumed because I did not see any Muslim women coming in and out of the shops)
About a hundred yards from the hotel I noticed a building with a look I know all too well: it was a prison, and I had seen a few back in the day as a young man from the US until I found the daawaah.
Since I did not know there as much crime in Utopia I asked the guard standing outside of the place who was in the jail and after examining the length of my thobe with a ruler he explained to me “kufaar who refuse to pay the jazeeya, illegal aliens, and Muslims deviants such as Soofees, Shii’aa, Sarooories, Ikhwaanees, Modernists and others that had been removed from the fold of Ahlus Sunnah wal Jamaah and contradicted the Usool of Islaam”.
Maashaa’ Allaah this place was better than I could even have imagined. Back in the US I had a rough time making it, could not hold a job because the kufaar kept on taking money for child support, could not stay married because the women could not respect a student of knowledge and would not accept the sunnah, and my business never did too good as people only want to buy so many fragrance oils. But look at me now. A pocket full of cash from the noble brothers and good place to stay for free and a right hand possession.
Now all I have to do is go get me some ilm and I’m straight. I think I can make it here in Utopia inshaa’ Allaah. So I told the people at the hotel that after much deliberation that I would be staying indefinitely. Na’am that is what I will do.
After Hadasha’s magnificent meal, I made my way to the shopping mall and found the most beautiful mall I’d ever seen. Wait until I tell you about that… To be continued…