The Nuts Among Us

Tariq Nelson has written a piece about the number of eccentric Muslim converts in the community and some of the strange and tragic things that have happened because of them. He piggybacked on a piece by Amir Butler about the vision of converts as a threat in Australia and government programs to remedy that threat.

I agree with the premise that Tariq has laid out in is piece that there is no widespread political extremism that can lead to terrorism in the convert community in America (even if you have a lot of armchair jihadists); but there are a lot of lunatics amongst American converts and I have seen this time and time again in city after city. And I will share just a few stories about such brothers (a few of them I may have mentioned before).

Ak…
Akbar and his wife were basically homeless the majority of the time and often crashed at the masjid. Of course many times after they crashed a microwave or a VCR was missing from the masjid and he vowed to catch the thieves. Whatever happened, somehow he ended up split from his wife and started sleeping at the masjid by himself. One night I came in with a brother in the middle of the night and found him sitting on a couch at the back of the musella, with Barry White or Al Green playing in the background (I cant remember) and a crack ho in his one arm and a beer in his other hand. To top this off there were empty condom wrappers in the trashcan outside of the musella.

A.H.
This brother talked the talk, and could quote many hadith, but had a love for armed robbery and was known to stick people up, but swore off of this as he progressed in Islam. Unfortunately one day he ended up robbing the store a Palestinian brother had hired him to work in and took the money and left town. A few months later he shows up back in town and broke drinking a 40 ounce outside the masjid and asking the brothers for sadaqa.

The Carjacker
This brother come into town and passes himself off as a Muslim social worker and gets a job helping refugees in the community. He gets a job driving a van around and delivering food and furniture to Muslim families and helping them find jobs. The brother also had the keys to the Muslim bookstore and one day he emptied out the store of all of its Islamic books and CD’s and got in the van and drove it away never to be seen again. I wonder what kind of benefit he got on those books he read? Or did he sell him; “yo akh, I got that Al-Albani half price yo”.

Niqabbis
How many of these sisters have been caught across America breaking into the sadaqa box on camera while the brothers are praying? They will show up at the masjid the next day and chastise a sister whose money she has just stolen on not covering properly. Also, she may be covered, but those ten brothers who have been married to her, and the four or five who have hit it on the low, know exactly what she has underneath the jilbab.

Tims
This brother showed up in town and was on a mission. He interrupted every talk ever given and disrespected every brother in his way and he was on a mission to turn the Muslim community against the Chinese who he viewed as the real enemies of America and the Muslim Ummah. He later started his own religion.

D.
This is a white brother who is a Shia and he loved to curse the sahabah in the vilest terms. He would also go to the masjid and speak of his love of masturbation and his hatred for Jews along with the sahabah.

The Jamaican
This brother was banned from Dar al Hijrah masjid in VA after he repeatedly harassed brothers and interrupted meetings. This brother verbally attacked anyone who wore Western-style clothes and shaved and talked of his hatred for “infidels” and is the only Muslim I have ever heard use that word. After disturbing numerous meetings, and even shouting down the imam on one occasion, he was banned.

Abdullah the Boricua
This brother, a Puerto Rican Muslim, liked to fight and was always fighting. He once beat up a yuppie for kissing his girlfriend in front of the masjid and had several fistfights in the masjid over the years. He eventually had his throat slit at the Puerto Rican Day Parade and has chilled out since then.

The Jesus Complex
One guy I was locked up with after jummahu introduced himself as the man who has many names but we can call him “Jesus Christ”.

Ahmad
This brother was a star, bright as can be, and was getting ready to study in Medina and had a beautiful Muslim family. While getting ready for his studies in Medina he decided to take up a career as a hitman and kidnapped and killed a local drug-dealer and was caught. He is doing life in prison and will not make it to Medina.

Yusuf
This is the story of the gay Muslim Suhaib Webb gave shahadah to in St. Louis, his story is somewhere here but I cant find it.

J
This brother was banned from masjid after masjid for stealing from the sadaqa box. He would come around a masjid and beg and then get some money and a job he would work for a week or two and then quit. Privately he confided in me that he liked to smoke crack and asked me of I had ever tried. After being run out of every immigrant masjid in town he found his way to an African-American masjid where he was caught on camera stealing and was subsequently savagely beaten in the musella. I aint seen him since.

The Sudanese
This brother, who once came out of a gas station with about ten bucks worth of snacks and cigarettes and then asked me for two bucks for gas, speaks with a veavy Arabic accent and told me he was from Sudan and I asked him how long he had been in America and he said “Oh my people have been here about 400 years”.

Kidnapper
This is a brother who couldn’t keep a job and was always homeless or damn near homeless. He had a habit of watching crime movies and then wanting to do what was in the movie and wanted to kidnap a banker’s daughter after seeing one such film. He propositioned this to several brothers, but had no willing accomplice., and then changed his mind and said he wanted to kidnap a Jew; alhadudilah he did not succeed.

JC
This is another white Shia brother. He was looking for a wife, or a muta, and admitted he was addicted to fetish porn. He found a pious young Muslima and she wnated to marry him; that is until he told her that he would demand she fulfill his sexual fetishes that are too crazy to put on here. He is still looking for a wife.

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