I recently had a conversation with a Muslim brother about the large number of American-Muslims who have children out of wedlock. For those of you not familiar with this issue having children out of wedlock is extremely rare for practicing Muslims; but many Muslim brothers have children out of wedlock before entering the deen. The question becomes how do you deal with this situation once you are Muslim?
Many brothers follow the opinion, based on a hadith, that the out of wedlock children should fall to the bed of the mother and that they have no financial responsibility for their children they have made and don’t even need to know them. They follow the hadith saying that “the bastard child falls to the bed of the mother”, meaning the mother should have to take care of it alone. There are other opinions amongst scholars on this issue; but to me this one is not hard. If you make the kid you should be responsible for the kid and we have a whole lot of American-Muslims, especially African-American brothers, who have found a righteous excuse not to do what they were to lazy and foul to do in the fist place.
I have a daughter from a woman I divorced and I know these things are very difficult indeed and it is often not easy to have a relationship with a child that is not living with you and I have had a lot of problems. It is doubly hard when we live in a society that puts no value on the role of fathers and were mothers have all the rights and dads have none; but you have to make the effort. The system is rigged in favor of women but we have to make the best of it.
Now, case in point, there is a brother who is very active in his city as an Islamic worker. He gives khutbahs, makes dawah, organizes outings, and much more and yet he has eight children out of wedlock and has no relationship with any of them and makes no effort to contact them. Maybe he should start his dawah efforts by making dawah to his kids and doing something to support them; because in my mind this brother has no credibility to make dawah at all.
There is also a famous imam on the East Coast who has a grown daughter he never made an effort to care for and she doesn’t see the value in being the daughter of a famous imam (she is not Muslim). The brother now has 4 wives and a tribe of children that he takes care of, but he never reached back to her. I wonder what she thinks about Islam?
Must Read Piece by Pat Buchanan
This is a must read and it points to the vibrancy of Islam and to me it illustrates why the most dangerous force for Muslims is not the militaristic-right; but it is the cultural pollution of the Left into the ranks of the deen at a time when the strength of Muslims is growing.
KT McFarland Lost my Vote
Any chance that KT had of getting my vote is gone (and I guess I will vote for Eliot Spitzer, maybe) after her desperate attention getting antics of the revelation that she was “psychologically and physically abused as a child”. Well guess what KT your grown and its time to get over it. I am not going to vote for you because of some sob story. You Dad hit you with a belt and shoved you, well that’s not abuse and I wish more dads today were using the belt as my father used it on me.