While on Marriage….

I once had an argument at a masjid in St. Louis with a group of brothers who told me that a good Christian woman would naturally want to marry a Muslim and I told them they were nuts.

A good religious Christian woman will want to marry a Christian man and have Christian kids and operate a household based on the teachings of the Bible. In her mind, a Muslim is a kafr, a disbeliever who is damned to hell unless he accepts Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savior. So why would she want to marry someone who is damned? She wouldn’t is the answer. A Christian woman who marries a Muslim nine time out of ten is not serious about her religion or just some kind of cultural Christian with no commitment to the deen.

I once heard a Muslim Imam say, who is a Salafi leader, that he had never seen a serious Muslim marry a non-Muslim, and there is a lot of truth to that; but many of these brothers became serious about the deen after getting married. Then again this particular Imam has been married and divorced more than twenty times and another well-known Imam said, “ when it comes to marriage don’t listen to him, he doesn’t know a lot about that; but when it comes to divorce he is a real expert.”

If you do not know brothers who have been married more then 20 times, or at least 10, you have not been around in the community that much amongst the converts. Of course many of you know people who have and you don’t know about that aspect of their lives. Many of the sisters, after about the 4th or 5th failed marriage swear of the deen or leave the deen; but brothers stick around and are fruitful and multiplying ensuring the job security of a future generation of correctional officers.

Abu Musluma, Imam of Masjid Ahlus-Sunnah in East Orange, NJ said he graduated from the Islamic University of Medinah and returned home and all he dealt with were family problems from local Muslims. These are serious issues and if we do not address them they are not going away and there is no escaping them because all of the Muslim community is intertwined. Brothers and sisters try and run from the problems of the American-Muslim by marrying an immigrant or someone from oversees and then run into a new set of problems.

Because of these factors I believe that every Muslim conference that is held should focus on the issue of marriage and family because that is the main priority of the community. We cannot import a failed system from Muslim countries, despite what some say, and many of us cannot rely on our upbringings. It is time for a new day. Or Muslim organizations can hold conferences talking about the value of the siwak ( Taabliquees), or who is off the minhaj (salafis), Election 2008 (Ikwaan) or the Khalifah (Hizb-ut-Tahrir); but none of that means anything if the institution of the American-Muslim family is not functioning well; and it is not at this time. We also cannot fall into this Oprah-like state were we feel everyone’s pain and fail to condemn anybody and anything because we do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings. In order to move forward some peoples feelings are going to have to be hurt.

Other Notes;
Great fight card in New York at Madison Square Garden tonight for those who are opting out of the Tarver-Hopkins PPV. Ethnic pride will be on display as the undefeated Puerto Rican star Miguel Cotto takes on the undefeated Italian-American from Brooklyn Paulie Malignaggi and “Irish” John Duddy , of Derry, takes on the rugged Freddie Cuevas. I’m 50-50 on going as of now but I like Cotto in 12 and Duddy by KO within 6.

New York is home to a lot of people from Trinidad and I have a good boxing buddy from Trinidad and I am sure he is happy that in their first World Cup Match ever they managed a tie with the heavily-favored Sweden. England looked shaky against Paraguay, I was waiting to see the Robot Dance from Peter Crouch but was cheated after he didn’t score in the 1-0 win. I predicted England to go all the way but after this I’m not so sure; but what the hell does an American know, I better stick to the sweet science.

The links will be back up soon, I am just doing some things with redesigning right now and my time is limited.


2 thoughts on “While on Marriage….

  1. Rasulullah spoke “Ikhfadhii (cut it low) wa laa tanhaki (not too much), fainnahu indharu lilwajhi (because it makes face look a little brighter), wa ahzha lizzauj (and it could be more accepted by the husband) (HR.Abu Daud, al Bazzar, ath Thabrani and others).”
    And in Silsilah Hadits Ash Shahihah (II/353-358) by Syaikh Al Albani (Muh.Nashiruddin).

    Rasulullah Shalallahu ‘Alaihi wa Sallam spoke “Idzal (when) taqal (meet) khitaanani (2 Khitan: 2 circumcised) faqad wajabal ghusl (then it is obligated to Ghusl (bath after Junub)).”
    (Tuhfah al-Maudud fi Ahkamil Maulud by ibn Qayyim al Jauziyyah)

    Do it to your babies at Aqiqah (at the 7th day) not on the 8th day.

    Assalamu’alaikum wa rahmatullaah wa barakaatuh.

    The Difference Between Abaadhiyah And Revivalist (Salafiyyah)
    Nashir bin Abdul Karim Al aql

    First : Actually Al-Abaadhiyah is one of the sects from most of Khawarij, according to agreement of Ulama which clarified it. That Abaadhiyah Ulama, the old one and the new one, by knowledge and Manhaj are forced to admit this truth, through their commitment to history and aqidah that directed to that, and also through comparison with Ahlus Sunnah wal Jama’ah.

    Secondly : That Al-Abaadhiyah is the least extreme compare to another Khawarij, such as Al-Muhakkimah, Al-Haruriyah, Al-Azariqah, Ash-Shufriyah and all which similar with them. And which got the readiness to have a dialogue and debate in a good way compare to all sects of Khawarij.

    Third : This does not mean that Al-Abaadhiyah contradicts Ahlus Sunnah in all aspects, but there are several aqidah and principles that are in the same way with Ahlus Sunnah wal Jama’ah, but this is not the place to discuss it.

    Fourth : The difference between them and Sunni in aqidah are :

    1. Their Ta’wil to Allah’s characters, they have the same opinion as Mutakallimin in Takwil, and with Al-Muaththilah and Al-Mu’tazilah from in their speech that Allah’s characters is His own dzat.

    2. The opinion of most of them that Al-Qur’an is makhluq (created), that was the opinion of Al-Mu’tazilah and Al-Jahmiyah.

    3. Their denial to ru’yah (seeing Allah in the Day of Resurrection) which is certain with lots of nash and consensus, that was the view of Al-Jahmiyyah, Al-Mu’tazilah and Ar-Rafidhah.

    4. Their declaring Kafir to people who do big sin and their statement about the eternalness of them (big sinner) in Hellfire, that was the opinion of Al-Mu’tazilah and all sects of AL-KHAWARIJ.

    5. Their denial to syafa’at (supplication) which going to be given by Rasulullah to the big sinners from his ummat, which is from nash which is mutawatir about it, the Salafush Shalih had been in consensus about that, that was the opinion of Al-Mu’tazilah and all sects of AL-KHAWARIJ.

    6. Their fitnah (tale) to all the companions (shahaba), to the people that ummat already in concensus to ridha (be pleased) with them and who Rasulullah already be pleased to them, this goes along with Al-Mu’tazilah and Ar-Rafidhah.

    7. Their leaning to Musnad Ar-Rabi’ (in their thought) that the Kitab (book) is the most shahih (valid), with their blasphemy to hadits that got the source from shahih Kitab like Bukhari and Muslim and others.

    8. They allowed people to rebel to the leader and jama’ah Muslim, because of their maksiyat (doing sin), fasiq (big sin), and zhalim (tyrannical).

    9. Their loyalty to the earlier Khawarij which had declare Kafir and wage war against the companions, rebelled to Ali, like Al-Muhakkimah, Al-Haruriyah and the Nahrawan citizen, that is the opinion of all AL-KHAWARIJ sects.

    10. Their opinion about the steps (stages) in din (religion), like Azh-Zhuhur, Al-Kitman, Al-Bara’ah and asy-syira’ and Al-Kitman (taqiyyah).

    11. Their opinion in steadfastness in front of people who are not known from Muslim and others, they are not loyal to them and also do not put enmity to them until their condition are clear.

    12. No consideration to 4 Mazhabs Fiqh Sunniyah and others, but they only accept their fiqh, manhaj and laws in policy and sometimes they are in the same way as Ahlu As-Sunnah in many things.

    13. No consideration of Utsman radhiyallahu anhu ruling and of Ali’s, and to Umayyah, Abbasiyah and others than them whoever which was Muslimin leaders, which Ahlu As- Sunnah had been in support of their leaderships and the specialities of leadership and dominion of Muslim only to their leaders. This is resembling to Rafidhah and Khawarij to leaders and khalifah and jama’ah Muslim.

    Fifth :That Al-Abaadhiyah at this time resembling Al-Khawarij in every principle, because other sects of Khawarij had vanished, because of these condition :

    – Their Aqidah (beliefs and creeds) is the continouing of Al Khawarij’s aqidah in general, and they really been adding something to it, which is by taking the principles of Al-Mu’tazilah, Al-Jahmiyah and ahlul kalam.
    – Similarities of Islam’s scriptures, sects and groups, of the earlier centuries or now, that their opinions resembling Al-Khawarij opinions.
    – Their fiqh resembles that of Al-Khawarij. Actually their slogan and ethics resembles the slogan and ethics of Al-Khawarij.
    – Actually their position resembles Al-Khawarij’s attitude towards Khalifah and ummat leaders at that time, to the ruler and main figure in the government.
    Their countries and their dominion which had stand along the history, at the east and west (Islam countries) being categorized as Al-Khawarij countries.

    However, I do not deny that the view of some part of contemporary Al-Abaadhiyah to others amongst Muslimin, has change to openness and having pudency, and the preparedness to understand each other, and the change of judgement and attitude, this things deserve to be praised and it’s a good news, therefore it is better for us as Ahlus As-Sunnah to use this chance, and open to them a door to have a dialog, thoroughly and calmly, may Allah directs them to the straight path.

    Six: Part of contemporary Al-Abaadhiyah and contemporary Al-Abaadhiyah show the interpretation and important changes in their approaching to Ahlus Sunnah and show good preparedness to have peace, and back to the principles of Sunnah, that shown through their effort which is their seriousness to clarified how they behave to their pious predecessor’s aqidah and and give argumentations to the attitude and aqidah that was confusing, and through their efforts to make sure to people that Al-Abaadhiyah is not an Al Khawarij’s sect. I see this as to show their preparation and objectivity to submit themselves to the truth (one of Al Abaadhiyah who was shown great interest in this was Mu’ammar Yahya bin Hamud rahimahullah, died in 1400 H). Hopefully that Ahlus Sunnah will repay them with the preparation and spirit to have a dialog and to obey the law in Al Qur’an and As-Sunnah Rasulullah, and the manhaj of Salafush Shalih.

    I’m optimistic that the effort of part of the Muta’akhirin from them to show that Al-Abaadhiyah is “A group that is peace loving” and in accordance with jama’ah, and the interpretation of aqidah and their attitude to growth for the goodness in Islam , and their spirit which is seen to unite opinions inside the truth. And if they are avoiding the downside and mistakes so their efforts, insyaAllah, will have a good effect.

    Seventh : In according to the past elaboration, then I suggest the clarification about the difference between us and them to have dialogues and discussions and to apply the Law with the nash as being commanded by Allahu Ta’ala, and to advice between Al Abaadhiyah and Ahlus Sunnah, those things are held through meetings, muktamar, and majlis discussions and good correspondencies, which are away from fanatiscism (ethnics, groups etc), away from attacking and ridiculing to each other, and to have commitment with straight moral values in our religion.

    I see it that a good relationship and the dialogue between them and Ahlus Sunnah is a chance for everybody to understand each other, helping to each other and to have a dialogue with calmness and seriousness which give some benefits, under the watch from institutions or the likes, that it is suppose to be done by the people in charge and Ulama from both sides, with the atmosphere of understanding that is protected from deviation which could occurred in the dialogues, and it is guaranteed that all kinds of fanatiscism and any deviation from the truth will be avoided. And the atmospheres of knowledge which are best for holding these things are the university that involving Hai’ah Ulama from our side and their side. Everyone who is quickly doing these, bi idznillah, is actually racing in good deeds.

    III.1. The Nature and Tendency of Khawarij In This Century

    Rasulullah had mentioned about few sects of Khawarij that will be out near the end of time, he described them with his words in Shahih Hadits :

    “Will be out one qaum (people) at the end of time, in a century of superficial knowledge and narrow minded people, they will say the best words amongst the sayings of makhluq (created beings), their faith do not pass their throats, they transgress from religion as the arrows fail from hitting the target, where ever you find them then wage war against them, because there shall be rewards in the Hereafter for those who wage war against them. (HR.Bukhari, kitab Istinaabah Al-Murtaddin, bab 6 hadits number 6930. In Fath Bari, chapter 12, page 283).”

    When I presented the principles of the former Khawarij and those who remaineth, they are Al-Abaadhiyah, their manhaj, nature and principles, and the attitude of Ulama Salaf to them. I see something including the beneficial things to perfect the things that are interconnected with this problem in our contemporary life. This thing could be applied by knowing the nature and tendencies of Khawarij personally and by groups in our modern day.

    I’m not intending to prolong this in details of the events and opinions, but my goal is to give a warning and admonishment from things that could endangered and determine to act as a facilitator for every aspects that could be taken as lessons we found from this meetings.

    By that, I have done ijtihad while asking for Allah’s help to face the facts, characteristics and tendencies of Khawarij, or seldomly as part of it.

    These characteristics and tendencies, dissapointly, already seen in the middle of few groups from young people of this modern day, with the form and appearance that are varied, such as : groups, declarations, movements, orientations, slogans, methods, Manhaj, attitudes, and personal tendencies and groups etc. The things that we have to watch out from and which show the beginning of the appearance of seed of aqidah, thoughts and the characters of Al Khawarij.

    And include in this to show how serious this problem is, that part of them has been growing in the middle of contemporary Muslims da’wah, like Jama’ah Takfir wal Hijrah, At-Tawaqquf wa At-Tabayyun and others, these tendencies breed danger and difficulties, asking for advices and repairement which needs to be done as soon as we could, from the Ulama and students before this disaster become spreading to the entire region and become a means of spreading fitnah.
    Allah said “Be ye afraid of fitnah which shall not happen only to zhalim people amongst ye” (Al Anfal 8:25)

    We ask to Allah to protects us for the badness of fitnah, whether from which are seen and which are hidden, laa haula wa laa quwwata illa billaah (i.e.no potency and power but belong to Allah), enough for us Allah and as a best helper.

    III.2 Khawarij Tendencies In This Century Are Of Two Kinds

    In reality, they exist in two community :

    First community : Which is above the manhaj of Khawarij, which are similar to them in the principles, attitudes and laws, for instance which being called “Jama’ah Takfir wal Hijrah” and who called themselves “Jama’ah Al-Muslimin”, and I will talk about this after this.

    Second community : Which appear inside them one character or more that belong to the character and nature of Khawarij, start from aqidah, law, manhaj, slogan etc, which not yet fulfilling that according to author, to categorise them as pure Khawarij like Ahlu At-Takfir, Ahlu At-Tawaqquf and Ahlu At-Tabayyun, and few tendencies and in alike manner.

    The principles and other herecy (bid’ah) like:

    – Their war to literacy, because they think that the companions and prophet were illiterates.

    – Statement about stages of law, that they could leave few syi’ar and Islamic laws, like Jum’at prayer and violating few forbiddances like marrying Kafir woman (else than ahli kitab), cutting beard and eating animals slayed by Kafirin (else than ahli kitab), because they said that they are on Makkah period.

    – Creating principles and new laws which against manhaj of Ahlu Atsar, and their rejection to ijma’ Ulama and to the forbiddance of taklid and to follow someone else globally, and obligate everyone to do IJTIHAD.

    – Do not hold on the understanding of companions, Ulama and the imams of guidance in understanding Al Qur’an and As Sunnah.

    – They do not take notice on Islam Khilafah start from 7th century, and they declare “Kafir” to this period.

    – Vicious and cruel in characters.

    – Think that they are more knowledgeable, arrogant, have a big head and they feel that they are special amongst Muslimin.

    – They declare halaal to spill blood and killing everyone differrent from them, to everybody that once been with them and they call them: Murtaddin and to others from Muslimin, so to them is as the last thing they gonna do and who was being their victim was one of the syaikh, who was Dr.Muhammad Husein Adz Dzahabi, when they kidnapped and killed him, and to killing them have done, they were hurt because of that (which they called Murtaddin), that’s all the custom of Khawarij.
    We ask Allah for strength and safety.

    – Quickly to have a dispute and arguments and to spread anger amongst their followers.

    Second community:

    Their tendencies:

    – The dominance of tendencies in Ghuluw (going to extreme) in Din.

    – Tend to declare Kafir based on the Jahiliyah al Mujtama’ and ‘Uzlah Asy-Syu’uriyah and al Bara’ and what they call Tauhid al Hakimiyyah and they correlate between Wala’ wal Al Bara’ to the Kafir attitude towards Thaghut (Iman to Allah only).

    – Their claim of the ability of Ijtihad. That’s why they leave the knowledge of Ulama and disregard them and deny the trustworthyness of Ulama.

    – Amongst them there are who underestimate the principle of Tauhid, like Tauhid Asma’ wa Ash-Shifat, and ignore the critics to Mu’tazilah, Jahmiyah and Al Asy’ariyah, with the suggestion that those sects aren’t exist anymore or they think that all Muslimin at this time are from Al-Asy’ariyah, this is a foolishness and mistake.

    – Most of them treat Muslim in Muslim country with the attitude to treat Kafir. They tawaqquf (hold) themselves from practicing Islamic law to those who aren’t from their sect. They do not do: Shalat behind imam who is not their imam, do not utter salaam to them and also do not answer it and do not witness the burial of the death.
    And so forth like in marriages and inheritances.

    – They like to test the aqidah of Muslim, because they do not accept their Islam, unless after the identification to their condition and ask for the evidence of it.

    – Do not participate with Muslim in religious rites, like in Jihad and al- Amru bil Ma’ruf and An-Nahyu ‘an Al-Munkar except if that goes along with their principles and must be under their control.

    – Part of them neglect Zakat because they think that they are on Makkah period in Rasulullah time, and they say that Zakat depends on the existence of Imam (from their sect) and in accordance to their criterias.

    – Stress too much on Wala’ wal Bara’ to the extremes.

    – Many among them who do Taqiyyah and going to the extreme in holding their secret. Because their aqidah and thinking are against the understanding of Ulama and Muslimin in general.

    – Their existence somehow blurred in the sight of most Muslimin, because they declaration to have commitment to As-Sunnah and Al-Jama’ah and the wellknown imams like Syaikhul Islam Ibn Taimiyah, Asy-Syathibi and few Salafiyyah leaders in dakwah in Najd (Iraq).

    – One of their characters is using slogan like the rejection of udzur because of purely foolishness, using the consideration that even if there is no knowledge to the meaning and consequences to “Laa ilaha illallah”, that is denied, even with the existence of Al Miitsaq/agreement with Allahu Ta’ala (before all human beings born to this world), even with dalil fitrah and dalil of common sense.

    – Their focus on the discipline of Ushul Fiqh knowledge in the things that help their their way of thinking, but they’re foolish to the intended meaning which consist in that. Actually knowing this reality, sometimes thy won’t find this things gathered wholly in one group or in individuals, but sometimes seen from the people, half of this doctrines or more to some other groups or on numerous people.

    This tendencies still need more deep investigation and more serious attitude in dealing with it.

    Subhanallaahi wa bihamdihi, subhanakallaahumma wa bihamdika, asyhadu alla ilaha illa anta, astaghfiruka wa ‘atuubu ’ilaik.


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